Better and worse...

How can this trip, with Dave gone for a week, be better than past trips and worse at the same time? I am dealing this time so much better. Chores are getting done, I rarely lose it, the dog is getting walks, Delanah and I are having heaps of play time and get out of the house and I get adult interaction daily...I'm even making dinners from scratch!

It's worse because I miss Dave so much. Delanah is walking further and further daily, and he's missing it, and that makes my heart hurt. Delanah started singing in the car this week as well, another special moment that her Daddy doesn't get to share in. I know it hurts his heart as well, I can hear it in his voice when I share things with him.

I am 3 weeks into a 10 week Bible study that has started a change within me. This was something I needed so badly and didn't even know it. It has changed the way I interact with Dave while he's gone, the way I see things during the day, changed the way I react to things. I have also found the most wonderful Christian station on the radio and that plays in our house and car all day long. It's so hard to get upset over the little things when you hear such beautiful words coming from the speakers. I feel a new peace about me and I hope I am passing that on to my wonderful daughter; I hope it's coming through in my interactions with Dave as well.

It's difficult to be feeling what I am feeling, and wanting to share that with Dave and not being able to. There are some difficult weeks ahead for us with Dave gone and some busy days for the kiddo and I. If I let myself get caught up in the details, I can feel a panic coming on, but then I remember that all I need to do is pray for the strength and look at the big picture. I can do this. My family can do this. I am never alone.