So for some time now Delanah has not "allowed" me to close the door when I use the loo. Closing the door means pounding, sometimes crying and many times blocking the door when I try to exit. So with the door open she will zoom on by, sometimes enter and try to unroll the toilet paper, but lately, it's gotten brutal. Over the past few days she has decided that this time was the best time to ask for things, and if I said no, she would hit me. Hard to put a kid in time out when in the loo. Well, today she decided she wanted to see what exactly was going on...and got quite mad when I wouldn't let her.
Is nothing sacred any more? Can I no longer use the loo in peace?! I have to schedule things around nap times?! Oye! No one shared this part of having a toddler with me!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Testing limits
Ahh, we're at that next stage in life. Delanah is testing limits for everything lately! What she can touch, what she can eat, what she can open, play with, etc. All day long is one big lesson! At the moment we're working on her not hitting and/or having a meltdown if she gets frustrated. Something gets stuck, she can't open something up, she can't reach something, all of the sudden there's yelling, frustration and if I happen to be close enough, sometimes hitting out towards me. I have been trying to remain calm and tell her to use her signs and/or her words to let me know what she would like. Sometimes the answer is yes and I let her do/have what she was asking for and sometimes the answer is no. Yes, life is happier when the answer is yes :)
Today we ventured to the Children's Museum and it appears that my lovely daughter likes to hit out at kids if she feels her personal space is getting invaded. Never thought I would have to do a timeout at the museum, but a time out we did do today! I felt the looks from other moms, I got the feeling they thought I was overreacting, but this is my daughter and the life lessons I want her to learn. Hitting is not acceptable. Plain and simple.
It's getting harder and harder to keep Dave informed with what is going on in our day. Lately it seems that he comes home, spends time checking his phone for messages/emails, we eat dinner, he whisks her away for bath while I clean up (still think I am getting the short end of the stick with this considering I then clean up left over messes from bath time as well), I nurse her and put her to bed and then he's back working again. I was so bored, and alone, the other night I didn't know what to do with myself! So, he's gone for almost 2 weeks, comes home to me sick, now he's not feeling the greatest and work is bogging him down. I feel like a single parent. I make the decisions, I teach the lessons, I still get asked what foods to give her...I hate that I feel alone in this with her father in the house. Something has got to change because this current situation is testing my limits.
Today we ventured to the Children's Museum and it appears that my lovely daughter likes to hit out at kids if she feels her personal space is getting invaded. Never thought I would have to do a timeout at the museum, but a time out we did do today! I felt the looks from other moms, I got the feeling they thought I was overreacting, but this is my daughter and the life lessons I want her to learn. Hitting is not acceptable. Plain and simple.
It's getting harder and harder to keep Dave informed with what is going on in our day. Lately it seems that he comes home, spends time checking his phone for messages/emails, we eat dinner, he whisks her away for bath while I clean up (still think I am getting the short end of the stick with this considering I then clean up left over messes from bath time as well), I nurse her and put her to bed and then he's back working again. I was so bored, and alone, the other night I didn't know what to do with myself! So, he's gone for almost 2 weeks, comes home to me sick, now he's not feeling the greatest and work is bogging him down. I feel like a single parent. I make the decisions, I teach the lessons, I still get asked what foods to give her...I hate that I feel alone in this with her father in the house. Something has got to change because this current situation is testing my limits.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Am I maturing?
What a day today was! I got 8 hours of sleep last night...amazing! Yet I still woke up completely groggy and it was so hard to get moving/motivated this morning. No bible study this morning as Delanah was running a fever yesterday and Sunday. I still think it's from teething, but not worth exposing the other kiddos if it was from something else. The plan was to get the tire fixed on the BOB and take Bay for a long overdue walk. Well...change in plans when at 11am the weather channel said it felt like 33F outside...just a little too cold for kiddo, especially since we weren't on a schedule and could go later in the day when it was warmer.
Well, as I'm cleaning up the kitchen, we get a phone call and it goes to the message. It was from Excel, wanting to discuss our account....red flags and warning bells! What the heck?! You see, Dave does all of the bills. I've offered to take over paying them, but it hasn't happened. I root through the bills not yet filed and start checking things out....hmmm....Excel not paid for 2 months....what?! Nothing really paid at the end of January or for the first of this month. I know work has been stressful for Dave, but apparently it was worse than I thought. I don't remember when he's spaced on paying all of the bills! It was easily rectified within 15 minutes and now we're caught up with everything.
So after nap off to get the tire repaired we go. $8 and about 5min later I have a pumped up, hole-free tire...woo-hoo! Okay, so I am a tad irritated that it took some yelling, tears and brute strength for me to get the old tube out and practically nothing for him to get it put back together again...I got over it :) I parked us across a 6 lane road but near an entrance to Cherry Creek State Park that I'm hoping will lead us to the dog park. It was a lovely walk, and I had my favorite Christian station on and was feeling so peaceful. We made it to the dog park and Bay was SO excited to be finally stretching her legs. The sun gets behind some clouds and it gets colder, fast. We turn to go and Bay is on her leash and I start hearing the thump-thump-thump of a flat. Wouldn't you know it, about a mile and a half from the car and the only tube that hasn't been replaced yet has a flat. Are you kidding me?! Is this a joke?! SO not funny! Now I'm mad. It's so easy to turn my anger and frustration towards Dave. Why? He's not here. Somewhere in my convoluted thoughts his being in another state makes this his fault. How? If he were home he would still be working...would it be his fault that I picked up a thorn then too?
With 20min until the bike shop closed we were on the move. Unfortunately we made it back and loaded up about 5-10min after the shop closed. I headed to another bike shop, hoping they were open, and they were! A mere 10min later we were back in business with a final new tube for the BOB and a little girl who was happily trying to climb on a tricycle they had there. She was way too little for it, but man she wanted to sit on it! We were all amused by her antics.
As we were heading home, and I was finally beginning to see the humor in my day, I got a text from Dave. He'd had a hard day and even the tone of his text sounded beaten down. When we got the chance to talk tonight I was able to share the woes of my day with humor and laughter. No blame casting, just spinning a yarn about the trials and tribulations of a Tuesday. As we were talking I had a giggling toddler trying so hard to get the dog to play with her. This poor dog was getting crawled on, sat on, offered my wallet and various toys....anything to get a reaction out of her to "chase" Delanah. As Dave was sharing he could hear her laughter and all the commotion. He sounded exhausted.
When did I mature? I did everything I could in the call to build him up and want him to come home to a joyful household. This is so different from the travels in the past. I feel different from the travels in the past. There is a part of me still wanting to be fighting mad and cast blame on others when things go wrong, but suddenly I feel like the rest of me is fighting back and wanting to give up my trials to God and be the friend and wife that Dave needs me to be. Case in point, instead of harboring ill will over the bills, I see it now as a sign that Dave is really stressed with work right now. I need to and want to take some of that stress from him. That's what friends do, help each other, right? Okay, I am talking in circles now, I must be tired, it's just so hard to put into words the changes that I feel in myself. I like the changes, I am proud of the changes, but there's so much more work I need to do.
Well, as I'm cleaning up the kitchen, we get a phone call and it goes to the message. It was from Excel, wanting to discuss our account....red flags and warning bells! What the heck?! You see, Dave does all of the bills. I've offered to take over paying them, but it hasn't happened. I root through the bills not yet filed and start checking things out....hmmm....Excel not paid for 2 months....what?! Nothing really paid at the end of January or for the first of this month. I know work has been stressful for Dave, but apparently it was worse than I thought. I don't remember when he's spaced on paying all of the bills! It was easily rectified within 15 minutes and now we're caught up with everything.
So after nap off to get the tire repaired we go. $8 and about 5min later I have a pumped up, hole-free tire...woo-hoo! Okay, so I am a tad irritated that it took some yelling, tears and brute strength for me to get the old tube out and practically nothing for him to get it put back together again...I got over it :) I parked us across a 6 lane road but near an entrance to Cherry Creek State Park that I'm hoping will lead us to the dog park. It was a lovely walk, and I had my favorite Christian station on and was feeling so peaceful. We made it to the dog park and Bay was SO excited to be finally stretching her legs. The sun gets behind some clouds and it gets colder, fast. We turn to go and Bay is on her leash and I start hearing the thump-thump-thump of a flat. Wouldn't you know it, about a mile and a half from the car and the only tube that hasn't been replaced yet has a flat. Are you kidding me?! Is this a joke?! SO not funny! Now I'm mad. It's so easy to turn my anger and frustration towards Dave. Why? He's not here. Somewhere in my convoluted thoughts his being in another state makes this his fault. How? If he were home he would still be working...would it be his fault that I picked up a thorn then too?
With 20min until the bike shop closed we were on the move. Unfortunately we made it back and loaded up about 5-10min after the shop closed. I headed to another bike shop, hoping they were open, and they were! A mere 10min later we were back in business with a final new tube for the BOB and a little girl who was happily trying to climb on a tricycle they had there. She was way too little for it, but man she wanted to sit on it! We were all amused by her antics.
As we were heading home, and I was finally beginning to see the humor in my day, I got a text from Dave. He'd had a hard day and even the tone of his text sounded beaten down. When we got the chance to talk tonight I was able to share the woes of my day with humor and laughter. No blame casting, just spinning a yarn about the trials and tribulations of a Tuesday. As we were talking I had a giggling toddler trying so hard to get the dog to play with her. This poor dog was getting crawled on, sat on, offered my wallet and various toys....anything to get a reaction out of her to "chase" Delanah. As Dave was sharing he could hear her laughter and all the commotion. He sounded exhausted.
When did I mature? I did everything I could in the call to build him up and want him to come home to a joyful household. This is so different from the travels in the past. I feel different from the travels in the past. There is a part of me still wanting to be fighting mad and cast blame on others when things go wrong, but suddenly I feel like the rest of me is fighting back and wanting to give up my trials to God and be the friend and wife that Dave needs me to be. Case in point, instead of harboring ill will over the bills, I see it now as a sign that Dave is really stressed with work right now. I need to and want to take some of that stress from him. That's what friends do, help each other, right? Okay, I am talking in circles now, I must be tired, it's just so hard to put into words the changes that I feel in myself. I like the changes, I am proud of the changes, but there's so much more work I need to do.
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