Am I maturing?

What a day today was! I got 8 hours of sleep last night...amazing! Yet I still woke up completely groggy and it was so hard to get moving/motivated this morning. No bible study this morning as Delanah was running a fever yesterday and Sunday. I still think it's from teething, but not worth exposing the other kiddos if it was from something else. The plan was to get the tire fixed on the BOB and take Bay for a long overdue walk. Well...change in plans when at 11am the weather channel said it felt like 33F outside...just a little too cold for kiddo, especially since we weren't on a schedule and could go later in the day when it was warmer.
Well, as I'm cleaning up the kitchen, we get a phone call and it goes to the message. It was from Excel, wanting to discuss our account....red flags and warning bells! What the heck?! You see, Dave does all of the bills. I've offered to take over paying them, but it hasn't happened. I root through the bills not yet filed and start checking things out....hmmm....Excel not paid for 2 months....what?! Nothing really paid at the end of January or for the first of this month. I know work has been stressful for Dave, but apparently it was worse than I thought. I don't remember when he's spaced on paying all of the bills! It was easily rectified within 15 minutes and now we're caught up with everything.

So after nap off to get the tire repaired we go. $8 and about 5min later I have a pumped up, hole-free tire...woo-hoo! Okay, so I am a tad irritated that it took some yelling, tears and brute strength for me to get the old tube out and practically nothing for him to get it put back together again...I got over it :) I parked us across a 6 lane road but near an entrance to Cherry Creek State Park that I'm hoping will lead us to the dog park. It was a lovely walk, and I had my favorite Christian station on and was feeling so peaceful. We made it to the dog park and Bay was SO excited to be finally stretching her legs. The sun gets behind some clouds and it gets colder, fast. We turn to go and Bay is on her leash and I start hearing the thump-thump-thump of a flat. Wouldn't you know it, about a mile and a half from the car and the only tube that hasn't been replaced yet has a flat. Are you kidding me?! Is this a joke?! SO not funny! Now I'm mad. It's so easy to turn my anger and frustration towards Dave. Why? He's not here. Somewhere in my convoluted thoughts his being in another state makes this his fault. How? If he were home he would still be working...would it be his fault that I picked up a thorn then too?
With 20min until the bike shop closed we were on the move. Unfortunately we made it back and loaded up about 5-10min after the shop closed. I headed to another bike shop, hoping they were open, and they were! A mere 10min later we were back in business with a final new tube for the BOB and a little girl who was happily trying to climb on a tricycle they had there. She was way too little for it, but man she wanted to sit on it! We were all amused by her antics.
As we were heading home, and I was finally beginning to see the humor in my day, I got a text from Dave. He'd had a hard day and even the tone of his text sounded beaten down. When we got the chance to talk tonight I was able to share the woes of my day with humor and laughter. No blame casting, just spinning a yarn about the trials and tribulations of a Tuesday. As we were talking I had a giggling toddler trying so hard to get the dog to play with her. This poor dog was getting crawled on, sat on, offered my wallet and various toys....anything to get a reaction out of her to "chase" Delanah. As Dave was sharing he could hear her laughter and all the commotion. He sounded exhausted.

When did I mature? I did everything I could in the call to build him up and want him to come home to a joyful household. This is so different from the travels in the past. I feel different from the travels in the past. There is a part of me still wanting to be fighting mad and cast blame on others when things go wrong, but suddenly I feel like the rest of me is fighting back and wanting to give up my trials to God and be the friend and wife that Dave needs me to be. Case in point, instead of harboring ill will over the bills, I see it now as a sign that Dave is really stressed with work right now. I need to and want to take some of that stress from him. That's what friends do, help each other, right? Okay, I am talking in circles now, I must be tired, it's just so hard to put into words the changes that I feel in myself. I like the changes, I am proud of the changes, but there's so much more work I need to do.