Insomnia

Yes, this is a subject I have visited before and it's back in my life again, in a bad way. Last night I was unable to fall asleep until 3:30. Looks like I am going for later than that tonight! Sigh.....

This afternoon, as I was sharing my insomnia woes with my hair dresser, she said that it was like I had the tasmanian devil in my head at night. That's the perfect description! I am fine all day, waiting for the chance to head to bed and get some much needed sleep, but when that time comes, all my fears/anxieties/stressors come out of the woodwork. This is brutal! After being sick all last week, I am ready to have a relaxing weekend and de-stress. Maybe get some things done around the house. But no. I spend my nights anxious because I am not asleep and I spend my days trying to stay awake. Vicious, very vicious.

The topics of the moment? Everything that has to do with this move. Can I get Piper into the Gabriel Foundation? How do I select a pet relocation service? How do I know that they're going to help me get Bailey into Australia? When are we going to move? When is Dave going to start traveling? Am I going to be getting this family ready for an international move alone? Is Dave going to move to Melbourne before us? Am I going to be a single parent? How am I going to get this done and work? Do I have the skill set to work? Am I going to be able to get enough sleep in to work? What about all the small details that are required for the move? Is Dave going to understand my concerns? Is he going to help me? Am I going to do this on my own? How?

Yeah, that's a lot of stuff to be whirling around your head while you're trying to sleep. I wish we had no plans for tomorrow. I wish we could hang out here as a family and process everything that's going on. But no, we are going to some friends for dinner. Church in the morning, home for lunch, then I have errands to try to run, then off to dinner, home, tired, another sleepless night as nothing has been resolved. And then Dave is gone for the week. It just doesn't sound fun to me. I wonder if I can manipulate things a little. I can't have an entire week of Dave and I not talking about these details.

Yes, I get caught up in details. It's my personality. We don't have to like it, but we have to deal with it. Oye....I hate insomnia.