Ugghhh...so that nasty little visitor insomnia is back. The thing is, I can hardly keep my eyes open during the day! Sigh! Tomorrow Dave leaves the country for the week. I usually have a hard time sleeping the night before he goes. My mind gets racing about all of the things I need to do and the fact that I am not going to get any help in doing them. You'd think that would be enough to make me tired enough to sleep...but no. Here it is, almost 3am and I am not in sleepy-land!!!! I don't have much planned for tomorrow, but I do need to take a walk in the morning, missed my exercise this weekend, and unless I can figure out how to make a meal out of ketchup and hot dog buns, I am going to need to hit the grocery store as well.
Please, oh please let me sleep some tonight!!!!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Is this really my life?
I have been in a reflective mood lately. I think with all the hustle and bustle we've had over the past few months I haven't really had time to stop and breathe. Well, I've had that time now. I live in a comfortable house, with plenty of room for my family, we have plenty to eat every day, we don't have to question where our next paycheck is coming from, I have an awesome dog and a loving bird, I have a wonderful husband, a loving extended family who is willing to help me at a moments notice, and I have the most beautiful daughter. I am blessed to be able to stay home with her, my husband provides so well for our family.
Is this really my life? Some days I feel as if I am going to wake up and realize that it's actually just a day off from work and all this was a dream. I feel this way mainly when Delanah has gone to bed for the night or now, when she is napping. How did I get to be this lucky? There are so many people out there that would love to be in my shoes. I feel guilty when I feel down about my days, my life. I am so incredibly blessed.
This morning I took Delanah and Bailey for a nice, long walk. We came back and played, had a little snack and then a nap (I tried, but alas, was too late and started nodding off as she was waking up). I took Delanah swimming today in a very busy and loud indoor pool. I wasn't sure how she was going to react to it, but she loved it! She was a tad unsure of her new float toy and the splashing initially, but warmed to both and we had an awesome time! I love that I get to be the one to see her reaction to the water, the tentative splashes, the smiles, the look of wonder on her face as she was watching the other kids. I just can't imagine someone else sharing these moments with her. I am so, so, so, so glad that I get to be the one to do it!
In this new, reflective mood, I think I am beginning to understand why we have disagreements on the weekend. Dave likes to help out when he's home, and I really do appreciate it, but this is my job. During the week, this is my office, this is what I do. I just feel bad, like I'm not pulling my weight when he comes home on the weekend, or even at night, and starts doing things that I think fall into my job category. He works hard all week and brings home the money that provides us with everything we need, I am to take care of the domestic duties. Okay, I am still working on getting everything done during the day that I think needs to be done, but man does it make me feel guilty when he starts doing some of the things. I think we need to sit and talk about it...I'm sure we can work something out.
Is this really my life? Some days I feel as if I am going to wake up and realize that it's actually just a day off from work and all this was a dream. I feel this way mainly when Delanah has gone to bed for the night or now, when she is napping. How did I get to be this lucky? There are so many people out there that would love to be in my shoes. I feel guilty when I feel down about my days, my life. I am so incredibly blessed.
This morning I took Delanah and Bailey for a nice, long walk. We came back and played, had a little snack and then a nap (I tried, but alas, was too late and started nodding off as she was waking up). I took Delanah swimming today in a very busy and loud indoor pool. I wasn't sure how she was going to react to it, but she loved it! She was a tad unsure of her new float toy and the splashing initially, but warmed to both and we had an awesome time! I love that I get to be the one to see her reaction to the water, the tentative splashes, the smiles, the look of wonder on her face as she was watching the other kids. I just can't imagine someone else sharing these moments with her. I am so, so, so, so glad that I get to be the one to do it!
In this new, reflective mood, I think I am beginning to understand why we have disagreements on the weekend. Dave likes to help out when he's home, and I really do appreciate it, but this is my job. During the week, this is my office, this is what I do. I just feel bad, like I'm not pulling my weight when he comes home on the weekend, or even at night, and starts doing things that I think fall into my job category. He works hard all week and brings home the money that provides us with everything we need, I am to take care of the domestic duties. Okay, I am still working on getting everything done during the day that I think needs to be done, but man does it make me feel guilty when he starts doing some of the things. I think we need to sit and talk about it...I'm sure we can work something out.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Tired...again?
How is it that I am almost more tired at the end of the weekend than I am at the beginning? Is it wrong that I am looking forward to the start of the week? What can I say, I like my routine!
We did have a good weekend. Saturday we all slept in, I am just now, after nearly 7 years of marriage, beginning to understand how Dave claims to catch up on missed sleep during the week by sleeping more on the weekend. We played a little, took Bay to the dog park, where I got a unique and brutal burn, sweet pea went down for a nap and Dave helped direct me put more pink in my hair :) Ahhh...the things you do to bond :) We decided to go to Saturday evening service, as Delanah was going to be awake and perky, and had a good service. We like Saturday service, really good message, not as packed and we didn't have to rush around to get there on time :)
For some reason last night I voiced the thought that a glass of wine sounded good that night. Since when do I drink wine? Yeah, got home and water sounded so much better! Ahh well :)
Today we had a picnic with some other moms with babies the same age. SO amazing how different they all are! Will is about 3 weeks younger and Kolin 1 week younger. Will is crawling, Kolin likes to "walk" while holding on to his moms hands and Delanah was content to just sit there and watch it all unfold. But when it came to eating our girl was a star! Will won't take any food that has something other than a smooth texture, Kolin will experiment with a few foods, but still won't nap without a bottle, and there was our girl, munching away on her lunch of carrots and hummus, turkey burger, sausage, cantaloupe, blueberries and raspberries! I helped with the blueberries and raspberries only because I didn't want the berry mess! We got several comments that they were jealous of her eating...I love Baby Led Weaning!!!
Okay, so this weekend wasn't all rosy. Dave and I got into a bit of a tizzy on Saturday before the dog park, and I have really got to start watching myself. He's beginning to get the impression that I like being in complete control of things and that I think that only I can take care of Delanah. I don't think that at all! I think that during the week I am so used to making all of the decisions that it is really hard to let that go on weekends. Yes, I like being in control of things, I know which ways work best with Delanah, but how is he supposed to know unless I let him try things? It is SO hard to step back when I think I could do it better! Of course I feel my way is best, if I didn't, why would I do it that way? I know my daughter well, but I don't need to keep reminding him of that fact. I need to let him get to know her and in order do that I am going to have to step back and that is going to be SO difficult for me!
We did have a good weekend. Saturday we all slept in, I am just now, after nearly 7 years of marriage, beginning to understand how Dave claims to catch up on missed sleep during the week by sleeping more on the weekend. We played a little, took Bay to the dog park, where I got a unique and brutal burn, sweet pea went down for a nap and Dave helped direct me put more pink in my hair :) Ahhh...the things you do to bond :) We decided to go to Saturday evening service, as Delanah was going to be awake and perky, and had a good service. We like Saturday service, really good message, not as packed and we didn't have to rush around to get there on time :)
For some reason last night I voiced the thought that a glass of wine sounded good that night. Since when do I drink wine? Yeah, got home and water sounded so much better! Ahh well :)
Today we had a picnic with some other moms with babies the same age. SO amazing how different they all are! Will is about 3 weeks younger and Kolin 1 week younger. Will is crawling, Kolin likes to "walk" while holding on to his moms hands and Delanah was content to just sit there and watch it all unfold. But when it came to eating our girl was a star! Will won't take any food that has something other than a smooth texture, Kolin will experiment with a few foods, but still won't nap without a bottle, and there was our girl, munching away on her lunch of carrots and hummus, turkey burger, sausage, cantaloupe, blueberries and raspberries! I helped with the blueberries and raspberries only because I didn't want the berry mess! We got several comments that they were jealous of her eating...I love Baby Led Weaning!!!
Okay, so this weekend wasn't all rosy. Dave and I got into a bit of a tizzy on Saturday before the dog park, and I have really got to start watching myself. He's beginning to get the impression that I like being in complete control of things and that I think that only I can take care of Delanah. I don't think that at all! I think that during the week I am so used to making all of the decisions that it is really hard to let that go on weekends. Yes, I like being in control of things, I know which ways work best with Delanah, but how is he supposed to know unless I let him try things? It is SO hard to step back when I think I could do it better! Of course I feel my way is best, if I didn't, why would I do it that way? I know my daughter well, but I don't need to keep reminding him of that fact. I need to let him get to know her and in order do that I am going to have to step back and that is going to be SO difficult for me!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Goodbye gummy grin
So Saturday I discovered something new when I was perusing her gums...something sharp! Sunday morning her Father's Day surprise was a second tooth having broken through! Woo hoo! Today she was much better in terms of fussiness and tonight we didn't need any Tylenol. The little toot won't let me get any pictures though! Tomorrow we are visiting G-ma and G-pa, so maybe we can distract her enough to get the new teeth recorded on film. Good thing is, no biting yet! Woo-hoo!!!!
So Delanah and I are on our own for the next few days. Dave is one the east coast so we are amusing ourselves. Today was quite nice. We slept in later than planned then took Bay on a walk. This promises to be a hot week, and I was hoping to have gotten the walk in earlier, but alas, sleep sounded like so much more fun! I best get myself to bed right now as I have big plans for the morning! I need to retouch my pink highlights and tonight I just wasn't in the mood to do it so I need to get it done before Delanah is up for the day tomorrow. Who knows how long it's going to take! Hmmm...maybe I'll do it tomorrow night...who knows!
So my gummy grin girl is growing up...I don't know if I'm ready for this!
So Delanah and I are on our own for the next few days. Dave is one the east coast so we are amusing ourselves. Today was quite nice. We slept in later than planned then took Bay on a walk. This promises to be a hot week, and I was hoping to have gotten the walk in earlier, but alas, sleep sounded like so much more fun! I best get myself to bed right now as I have big plans for the morning! I need to retouch my pink highlights and tonight I just wasn't in the mood to do it so I need to get it done before Delanah is up for the day tomorrow. Who knows how long it's going to take! Hmmm...maybe I'll do it tomorrow night...who knows!
So my gummy grin girl is growing up...I don't know if I'm ready for this!
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