Thursday, March 3, 2011

Hard phone call

Tonight the wee one and I called Meemaw and Papa as a treat at the end of our day. DG was SO excited to share her thoughts with them. She pulled out her toys and imagination and let me have a chance to chat with mom and dad for awhile. We talked about Nana....her health seems to be going downhill and apparently she's starting to acknowledge that she's getting old. 85...wow....in my head she always seems 60 or 70. Mom and dad asked me to call her more frequently, or, you know, just call her. Guilt. There she is again. Guilt. Why don't I call? Write that letter I'm always meaning to write? Why is the internet more important? Why are the dishes more important? Guilt is mean and just sucks.

We spoke about mom's surgery this summer, her recovery timeline. So many things going on this summer. Earlier tonight Dave and I spoke about another conversation he had with the CEO. Dave is top on his list still, but it must go through all the right steps before it's officially offered. Dave had lunch with his mentor, even though this position doesn't really exist yet, his mentor mentioned to Dave that something like that would be great for him. All roads seem to be leading us here. I feel at peace with the decision. I seem to be finding great paths for the animals, groups for me to explore in Melbourne that will bring friends in a new place; so many more details to cover, but things still lead to us moving.

I hate not telling mom and dad. We're going to tell them this weekend. I expect a lot of tears, mine, moms, dad? Tonight I shared with kiddo that Meemaw and Papa were going to go sledding with us this weekend. She was so excited. She loves them so much, and the thought of separating them was like an arrow to my heart. It's just a few years, but I talk to my mom almost daily, my dad called this morning, just to say hi. Will I lose that? Will we write letters, send emails? Sigh.....those unknowns and fears are returning. Time to pray again. This is hard, this sucks, can we fast forward a little bit? Rewind a week or two?

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