I get it now

Amazing what a lot of prayer, a good sermon and some sleep can give you, perspective. I have felt a peace today that I haven't felt in a long time. I felt the sermon this morning was made just for me, and I took it to heart.

I haven't been living my life for Him, I've been doing it for me. I have been selfish in many of my actions, and that has not made my family harmonious. Now, I am not playing a martyr and blaming everything on myself, far from it. I am acknowledging my contribution and am working towards making it right, making our family unit work better and reaching our goals together.

We sat down this afternoon and did a ping-pong sort of talk. I told him what I needed from him, and we discussed it, and then he addressed what he needed from me. We both were open and accepting, honest and loving, it was amazing and wonderful. How is it that two people are going along similar paths, but don't seem to notice that it's not always the same path? I know how to blend in my need to work and be home for my family. Am I starting my own business? Not anytime soon! I am needed here, and I love that I have been acknowledged for what I do. I am excited to move forward, to begin again and face the new challenges together.

Peace. I didn't know I was missing it. I didn't know what I was missing.