Death of a friendship?

When a friendship ends, is it quickly? Slowly? Is there a lot of noise or does it just sort of fade quietly? Most of my friendships remind me of swells in the ocean, sometimes they're a huge presence in my life, at other times they are more in the background, but still present. Those are the friendships that last, and have lasted, for years. The friendships I have the hardest time with are the needy ones. Hmmm...is needy the right word? I mean the kind that are constant presence dependent; if you are there and available daily, the friendship seems to "work", if you are not available for every phone call/text/email, things begin to change.

I am always sad initially when I see a friendship begin to fade, but I need to step back and evaluate the situation. Do I have the time and energy to devote to this one relationship? How is this relationship affecting my life? Sometimes it's worth the fight, sometimes you need to let it go. I am at the letting go stage in one friendship, and I almost feel like a spectator, watching it fade away. I don't think it will ever be gone completely, but I don't see it returning to how it was.

This upcoming international move has been stressful in many areas, and I don't see that stress abating anytime soon. I know I am going to have to rely on friends and their offers of help, which is hard for me to do, but I can't do it alone. What is becoming so evident to me is that I have some wonderful people in my life. I have my core group of friends offering all the support they can give and demonstrating understanding when I have other chores taking me away from play dates and phone calls. I have periphery friends who have come out of the shadows and offering help that I never expected. It's humbling to have so many people wanting to help us with this move.

Yes, it is sad to see a friendship come to an end, but having so many others offer their support has lifted my spirit. I am very blessed.